Thursday, July 9, 2015

Origin Draft of "Quest for the Ivory Sword"

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(WARNING:  Spoilers ahead!)

As some of you know, I started writing my first book, "Quest for the Ivory Sword", when I was twelve years old.    I had been developing the idea for two years before that, so it is quite an old story.
Since I was so young when I started out, I had a lot of learning to do before my writing was ready to be published.  I didn't even make it all the way through my first draft before I started rethinking the storyline.  My mother was very patient when teaching me how to craft a better story, which is fortunate since this particularly had to change and develop in so many ways before its completion.
In the original draft, the main character Nayram`e was unaware of her heritage as the Warrior of Talminia.  She had still been raised by Solay, but at that point in the story, Solay was not her grandmother, but a full-blooded pixie who was several generations removed from Nayram`e.
Nayram`e's quest for the sword began not as an attempt to prevent a war, but rather as a right of passage to become a true warrior.  
In the published version, as Nayram`e and Fayri set out on their journey, the queen sends Kurin, a childhood friend of Nayram`e's, and Swift, a fairy messenger, to follow them and prevent an assassin from destroying them.  In the original draft, Swift did not exist, and it was Solay who accompanied Kurin.  Furthermore, the Kurin's character was vastly different than it is now.  I originally concieved him as a disgruntled, reluctant, skeptical stick in the mud who served as Nayram`e's sword instructor, rather than Solay herself.  His clumsiness, however, remained the same.

There are many more differences I'm sure you'll spot.  In most of my drafts, talking animals also inhabited Talminia.  They were removed shortly before the final draft.  There were also dwarves, centaurs, unicorns, and the like.  I eventually elected to remove those extra creatures because I felt that having a world so heavily populated by so many different races detracted from the story.  Someday I would love to do another fantasy story in which I could include those classic creatures, but for "Quest..." I knew I needed a more simplistic setting.

The following is the very FIRST draft of "Quest for the Ivory Sword", as far as I got.  I have included spelling, grammar, and formating mistakes for the sake of showing the level of writing skill I possessed at the time.  I hope you enjoy it!  May it better your appreciation for the story we ended up with.  :)

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CHAPTER ONE; The adventure begins.

Nayram`e's sword clashed against Kurin's.  "No no! Sword up, like I taught you!"  Kurin yelled.  "sorry". Muttered Nayram`e.  soon Kurin called for a rest.  "Ithink that's enough for today." He said.  "Alright."  Said Nayrame. 
She hurried off to visit Solay.Solay was the oldest pixie in Talminia, yet she still looked young.  Nayrame soon reached the cottage.  Little did hs know she was begining a great adventure.  "There's somthing I want to talk to you about." SOlay said.  Nayrame waited.  "Along time ago, there was a beautiful young warior.  Like you!"  Nayrame smiled and Solay coninued;  "When she was 21, war broke out between Jalmanine and Talminia.  We won, but we were still and are on bad terms with Jalmanina.  FOr her own reasons, the warior hid her sword.  It was a magnificent sword, made of pure ivory!  But sincde then, the sword has not been seen." (Here she paused,) "And I want you to go on a quest to find it."  Nayrame was silent for a moment, then asked; "but why me?"  Solay smiled.  "I have my reasons".  Nayrame was puzzled, but she didnot question.  Her thoughts were whirling on her way home.  When she reached her cottage, she stood for along time.  Then she got out a leatherpouch and packed some money and afew meals.  Tomorrow she would set off with her friend Fairy.  Nayrame was going on a quest!

CHAPTER TWO;  First few miles.

"what did you say?" Asked an astonished Fairy.  "I said;'we are going on a quest'" Anserwd Nayrame.  "Um, yeah, but what for?  Said Fairy, still doughtful.  Nayrame explained about the ivoyr sword."Well... Ok I'll come. Said Fairy.  "Good!"  Nayrame said.  A few hours later, it was mid-day, and the two sat down for lunch But when Nayrame laid out the contents of that days lunch, Fairy looked disgusted.  "It's all cheeses!" she said.  "Well, the longer cheese ages, the better it gets.  SO that's what I packed."  Nayrame said shortly.  "Well, that's just un natural if you ask me." Fairy retorted.  Nayrame sighed.  They had along journy ahead of them, how many times would they argue?  The two girls ate their lunch in silence, but the bright and cheerful day and beautiful landscape soon cheered them up.  Fairy apoligized for what she said about the food.  And Nayrame Told her she'd By hersome bread in the next town.  At night the found a good place to sleep and got a fresh start in the morning.So the two girls passed their first few miles in peace.

CHAPTER THREE; First danger.

The third day was over ast nd rainy.(NOT a good sort of day for traveling!) Yet  the travelers pressed on.  They were dressed in heavy cloaks that they had bought in the last town.  "We're on the border of Talminia!"  Nayrame shouted above the wind.  Fairy did no answer, but kept walking.  Suddenly, out of nowere it seamed, a group of slave traders on horse back burs ou!  They formed a circle around the girls.  The girls fought back to back and Nayrame warded them off bravely, but it was almost useless.  Suddenly, Nayrame noticed that they were several yards further from the mountian pass than they ahd been 10 minutes ago.  The slave traiders were herding them towards the Western wood, the resting place of all Talminian villains!  They were almost there now, at the very entrance of the forest.  Then Nayrame gave a desperate attempt of escape.  She sheathed her sword, grabbed hold of Fairy, and darted under the nearest horse.  The rider, taken completely by suprise, did not even see Nayrame's sword coming to knock him off his horse (which it did).  And the two girls galloped away to safety.  "That was way to close"!  Nayrame said, breathing heavely.  Fairy was shaking terribly.  THe girls found a nce cavve (Talminia is the sort of place were you can find a cave) to sleep in.  And continued there journey n the morning.

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Part II will be posted tomorrow.

-Emmarayn Redding

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